Twenty-Ninth blog post

Hey bllog buddies!
Well I guess I'll start making time to write more blogs for you gals and gents. School and life in general has been beyond hell right now. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. compain complain complain...FML FML FML  RRRAAAGGGE RAAAAGGGGGEEEE RRRAAGGGEEEE....

So anyway, I guess it`s time to do a little song ripping. I know you've definitely missed my rants about absurd song lyrics.

This week's song is:­ Like a Vrigin. by Madonna.

Well I guess I'll start making time to write more blogs for you gals and gents. School and life in general has been beyond hell right now. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. complain complain complain...FML FML FML RRRAAAGGGE RAAAAGGGGGEEEE RRRAAGGGEEEE....




So anyway, I guess it’s time to do a little song ripping. I know you've definitely missed my rants about absurd song lyrics.



This week's song is:¬ “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.



I’d like to start off by saying that Madonna doesn’t know what she’s talking about…She was never a virgin. We all know that.



Anyway,

I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn't know how lost I was
Until I found you

So we start off with a mental picture of Tarzan and Madonna swinging from vines and shit through the Amazon. And I wonder how Madonna managed to even get through the “wilderness” on her own. Just a side note, when Madonna says wilderness and virgin in the same song, it coincidentally reminds me of pubic hair….. And then when she meets Tarzan and realizes he likes her, she realizes that Tarzan doesn’t want to get lost in her everlasting forest (bush) and so when she finds Tarzan, she discovers personal hygiene. BY THE WAY: nobody likes to go down on a rainforest.

I was beat incomplete
I'd been had, I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
Shiny and new

And then Madonna has to explain that she was alone and pitiful, which I highly doubt because she’s had more rides than that mechanical horse outside Wal-Mart. Anyway, she explains that he makes her feel shiny and new…(shaves her bush)

Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
When your heart beats
Next to mine

I still don’t understand how Madonna knows what a virgin feels like….

And a virgin being touched for the first time? Well, that’s self-explanatory… SHE GOT LAID! And then she goes on to talk about the after-math of sex when you lay down beside each other to go to sleep because the sex was probably so boring that he had trouble just staying awake during the whole ordeal.

Gonna give you all my love, boy
My fear is fading fast
Been saving it all for you
'Cause only love can last

Sex isn’t love… just saying. And giving him all your love means you have to make his lunch everyday for work…are you up to that Madonna? Didn’t think so. And I know you think you’re in love, but this guy is probably gonna get bored of your flat body. No wonder Madonna has to wear a cone bra… she’s got a negative cup size! She’s so flat the walls are jealous.

You're so fine and you're mine
Make me strong, yeah you make me bold
Oh your love thawed out
Yeah, your love thawed out
What was scared and cold

Of course he’s fine… you lost your v-card to this guy… Sex is wonderful isn’t it Madonna? Well, I guess I don’t have to ask you that…. And quite honestly… I don’t even understand what’s going on here. She’s talking about being hot and cold and thawing out his love… WHY IS HIS DICK FROZEN??? That’s some weird shit right there.

Oooh, oooh, oooh

Yep....sex moans.

Like a virgin, ooh, ooh
Like a virgin
Feels so good inside
When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me

More sex moans… keeps on insinuating virginity… blah blah blah..ou la la…. Sexy time sexy time…

And of course it feels good inside you idiot! It’s sex! And just to let you know, his heart isn’t beating because he loves you, his heart is beating because you just had sex…. Just saying. He’s probably gonna dump your ass when he gets bored of you.

Don't be strangers!

Happy groping