Today's blog is dedicated to Kaylie, who made me write this, though I do take much pleasure writing about what I'm about to write about in the next mass of sentences which you are reading because you life is boring and you must spice it up with my amazing blog.
discretion note: I may get a little harsh this blog. If I offend you, go fuck yourself :) love yas!
Today's topic is Gabourey Sidibe (ya..the bitch from Precious...I cant even say her name....)
Kaylie made me realize how frustrating this girl is... like for reaL!!!
Anyway, for those of you who don't know who this bitch is....well.... here's a pic...though I'm not sure if my blog will let me post it because, well, she ain't petite....
Yep... THAT'S A HUGE BITCH!
But like, she said she's proud of her curves and such.... which is okay... If only they were curves and not fucking dunkin' donut reserves.
I hope there's some kind of method behind her hugeness.... Like, perhaps she's planning a forty day trek through the desert, in which case the fat reserves are gonna hold her up for days... But then again, she'd die of heat trying to carry that fat ass more than 3 steps a day.
But seriously... being that large IS NOT GOOD! There are things you can do to lose a bit of massiveness.
Such as eating one hamburger instead of 23 big macs, 46 large fries, 8 orders of chicken nuggets and 3 super sized cokes.
Or walking down the stairs instead of rolling down the stairs. Or lifintg your feet instead of dragging your feet. Or maybe even chewing your food instead of swallowing it whole!!!
OH! and we're in the bus, on our way home from Pearson in TO and we're reading a tabloid (Star I think) and there's a picture of this dear lardass in there. Sure, you know, she's a star and all and maybe she deserves a spot in the tabloids, BUT THE BITCH TAKES UP TWO PAGES!!!!!!!! 2 PAGES FUCK! And I'm all like: "It's pretty sad that they couldn't even fit her whole body on two pages. It's only a picture of her upper half and it takes two pages. For a real picture, you'd need like poster size!"
And like, she's a star now so like, she can pay for procedures to get a little bit smaller. Like the dress she's wearing could make like 27 dresses for african children, but she's so big that she denies these girls prom dresses. I hope you feel bad Shamoo!
Well anyway, that's all for today. I probably won't write another blog until next week because I have a stupid essay to write, which I should have started like 3 weeks ago, but now it's due Friday and I have......an introduction. WOO ME!
Happy groping!
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