A vlog?

Hey blog buddies!

Ok, so a week in between posts all while trying to juggle massive amounts of homework (aka  punishment for wanting a higher education and a better paying job. FML) I do have a couple stories to tell ya'll about though.

So Thursday I was walking around in between classes and I saw a new friend of mine walking in the opposite direction. So I decided to to catch up to her and say hi. So you all know that between friends, it's okay to give each other that little "hey" punch on the shoulder. Nothing serious...doesn't hurt, isn't very surprising. So I give my friend Sam a punch on the shoulder and she turns around and (as you probably already figured out)....it's not Sam. So the stranger I went up to and punched turns around and is like: "What the hell dude!" and by this point I'm like "OHHHH FUCK!" in my head... so all I say is: "ohmygod...I thought you were someone else" to which she says: "Well...I hope you so! don't just go around punching people asshole" and then she kinda laughed, and I kinda did that nervous laugh thing that EVERYONE does when they're nervous...that "he.....ha...he....ya"  turns out she was in my psych class later that night....oh joy.
Lesson of the story: Don't go around fucking punching complete strangers. Even if it is a pussy punch. People, for some reason...., get mad.

Ok. and now I'm going to go into slight boring mode for a sec...so bear with me
You know when you're just so tired that everything because either a total sap story and you bawl about everything? That, or the complete opposite and everything suddenly seems so much funnier? ok. weird thing happened to me last night. I finally made a vlog...I started it at 11PM, which is my own fault for being a fuck head and starting something that I knew would take me like 5 hours at 11 o'clock at night (on a Friday night no less...can you say "no life"? <---don't actually...i have feelings too you know). So I'm running around my house with my laptop in my hands and I get back inside and I had this really mad laughing fit. Seriously, I think some weird voodoo shit happened last night... all of a sudden, I was on the floor pissing myself laughing. and I still can't figure out why I even started. So that lasted about 5 minutes (good thing my roomate wasn't home...I probably wouldn't have a place to stay because she would think I'm a total crackwhore) and I continued my vlog. Then I finally finished it around midnight. "sure, an hour doesn't seem to bad to film a vlog?" well I'd say "Fuck you! ya. fuck you!" bcz filming is the easiest part...except talking to your computer aka self..that's kinda weird. Then I had to edit the things and cut out a few parts bcz I pretty much just rambled on and on for 13 minutes. Miraculously, I got it down to 9 min and 40 seconds (or something to that effect...who fucking cares) (I love my use of really non-informative and useless parentheses....they make me happy) (and I'm pretty sure swearing is not allowed in parenthetical phrases either) (fuck it) (see what I just did there? clever!) Then I was trying to cut out the really weird parts where I kinda just stared at the camera for long periods of time because i forgot what i was going to say, and that wasn't working and by this time it was 1AM and I had been up since 8:30AM the day before and had barely slept the night before...so I cried. hahaha I don't even know why I was crying... I was just crying hahaha. (menopause perhaps??? who knows)  Then I pulled myself together and didn't get finished until like 3AM when my computer told me it would take 3 hours to upload to Youtube. FUCK YOU YOUTUBE! 3 hours! do you know how fucking long that is???? GAH!

Anyway, it's uploading as we speak... and by the time I'm done writing this, it should be ready and therefore, i will post a link here to view it.

So anyway, I realize today's blog is kinda dull, but that's because you have a totally radical vlog to watch now. Enjoy :) p.s. shut off the music at the top of this page lol.








Happy Groping!

Fucking preteens.

Hey blog buddies! It's been a while, and I'm sorry. As you all know (or maybe don't know... I dunno..I'm not in your head) I've been extremely busy lately. I moved to Ottawa for school and I'm honestly loving it. At first it was weird...I mean, I pretty much played dead the first day here alone... Everything was so new and I couldn't get anywhere bcz I had to take the city bus and I've never taken a bus before in my life...Actually, that's a lie.. I just lied to you. I had taken a city bus before with a friend, but that one time I pulled the "ding string" about 8 stops too early.... so you can barely count that) Other than that, if you wanna see pictures, I'll put some up right here. They're the same ones as on Facebook.

Ok, so today's actual blog might be a little short, but I think it will be a good one based on the observations I made today...

So I was walking around the mall today getting a few things I needed and I saw a huge group of preteens taking pictures...over nothing. Apparently when they get together, it's absolutely necessary to take absurd and pointless pictures of themselves. I swear, Facebook is utterly polluted by a bunch of fucking 12 year old who have nothing better to do than to take 4562347562397846597824365 pictures of themselves and their friends at various public places! I mean, I can totally understand if it's a huge vacation to somewhere exotic but to the movie theatre? SERIOUSLY bitches?

And like, I fucking hate how they get all excited and be like: "OMG! lets take a picture here because it's only the hundredth time we've ever seen a movie together!" PUHLEASE! give me a break.

OH! and you know how, in every group of friends, there's that one person who everyone likes, but nobody really likes all that much? hahaha. well the funniest thing is when that person tries to get their picture taken with everyone else. SHe'd be all like: "OMG! take a picture with meeeee!" and the person just stand there while the outcast just wraps her whole body around her and gives a huge smile all while the poor friend has to sit there and give that really fucking painful smile because shamoo is wrapped around her like a fucking piece of duct tape. (wonderful stuff duct tape, but don't abuse it) And when you see the picture later, you know exactly who this outcast is because the smile on the "friend" is priceless. It simply reads "hurry-up-and-take-the-fucking-picture-slut-because-this-is-my-"I-don't-really-like-you-and-I-just-wanna-get-this-over-with-fast""

And they pick the stupidest reasons to take pictures such as:

• "OMG! we're at the mall! hurry up and take a picture with me!"
• "OMG! we're at school, eating lunch! this is so radical we need to take a picture"
• "OMG! we're eating supper at a restaurant, so let's take picture so we can disturb everyone else while thy eat their nice suppers"
• "OMG! I have a nose! let's take a picture!"
• or my personal favourite: ""OMG I JUST GOT MY FIRST PERIOD, TAKE A 
  PICTURE QUICK, CAUSE IT WONT LAST LONG, I'LL BE PREGGERS SOON"
  
  

Yep...it's good to be back blog buddies ;)

Happy Groping!

Skyler's adventures to and in Ottawa. Day 1

Hey blog buddies! I guess it’s been a while since I’ve told you the going-ons of my day... I guess it’s because, for a while now, my day has been: Sleep, Drink my face off, work, repeat; with the omission of “drink my face off” every 5 days or so. But today, many very interesting things have happened to me. See, I had to come to Ottawa this week to check on 4 possible apartments for the school year. Well, let me tell you, it’s NOT as easy as it seems. 

So we left Sudbury promptly at 9:30AM. I had to make an emergency stop at Starbucks, and then we were on our way. The way down to Ottawa was pretty much uneventful... Stopped in Sturgeon Falls (Cheddar cheese bagels!) and Deep River intentionally, then I had a sudden bladder pressure augmentation and stopped in this quaint little village called Renfrew (yes, much like Holt Renfrew, but MUCH less glamorous). Talk about a fucking adventure. You go down this road that looks as if it’s been taken directly from Farmville (complete with weird little people with extremely disproportionate heads and all) . Well talk about trying to get out of this town... it’s as if they’re trying to keep you there. And then the GPS is lying and says I’m supposed to go through this corn field, but actually makes you end up going on this weird little crescent shaped road to bring you back onto the road you turned off of... ( more of my retarded GPS later on...)

When we make it into Deep River, Brianne decided to blast Cotton-Eyed Joe in the car with the windows down at the gas station... yay me. So then we continued our trek to Ottawa, and because of the absurd amounts of useless construction, Brianne got to wave at like 2479365274365783495170423 construction workers... about 2 of them waved back... probably bcz they felt bad for her mental handicap. Either way, I think we were like, an hour later all due to construction. Then we get onto the Queensway (417)...Holy bitch suck. Talk about crazy people in crazy cars going really fast and making retarded lane changes while your GPS is yelling “STAY RIGHT...in 200 metres, STAY RIGHT!” and then you’re like “FUCK YOU computer GPS lady! anymore right, I’m going left!” all while worrying about the 6746578324658734627834608243670189576452376592345 cars flying around you.

Ok, so maybe the 417 wasn’t all that bad after all... it was pretty easy now that i think of it. 

THEN we got to downtown Ottawa... at 5PM or so... the GPS giudes us to the hotel in good fashion until it’s starts having epileptic seizures and says: “In 200 metres, turn left, then turn left, turn left” so I say: “Umm...okay! let’s go straight!” GPS says, in turn: “recalculating...turn right, then in 1 kilometer, turn right” so I followed her directions and I missed the hotel completely because the British bitch inside my GPS hates me. So we go around in a circle again and end up at the hotel... well then I don’t know where to park and I suddenly spot a place... but we already passed it...and we’re on a one-way street. CIRCLE THE FUCKING BLOCK AGAIN! I swear... this whole time, I think the angry lady in the GPS wanted to say: “Listen here you little shit! If I have to recalculate one more time, I’m going to eat your first-born”. OH! side story. Brianne and I are arriving downtown and I say: “look! the people in Downtown Ottawa are so different than the people in Downtown Sudbury! they look so normal.... OH! except that guy...” (a homeless looking guy riding an old-person’s scooter thing).  

SO I finally made it to the hotel...GPS still intact... British lady still shouting directions at me. And then I have to park my car... well here’s the deal... the parking is like, WAAAYYY underground. It’s like a fucking obstacle course getting down this tiny ramp and finding your way to your designated parking spot. The prize at the end: Congratulations, your car is still in good condition! 

So we go and see the first house, problem free. It was very nice... but I’m not writing about that. Then we decided were hungry and were going to eat somewhere. the nearest places are near this one mall (crappy mall) and we’re driving around in circles around the mall because every 2 seconds, the GPS says “Arriving at destination on right” and there was NEVER a restaurant in sight. I swear it was angry british lady trying to get back at me for the hotel dilemma. Finally I see the restaurant and it’s like, 800 meters east of where we were... FUCK YOU ANGRY BRITISH GPS LADY! FUCK YOU!

Then we went to the second house, wasn’t all that great. And got back to the hotel safely, parking was much easier the second time around... Still not what i would consider “EASY” though... 

I’ll tell you guys all about tomorrow another time though.

HAPPY GROPING!