Skyler's adventures to and in Ottawa. Day 1

Hey blog buddies! I guess it’s been a while since I’ve told you the going-ons of my day... I guess it’s because, for a while now, my day has been: Sleep, Drink my face off, work, repeat; with the omission of “drink my face off” every 5 days or so. But today, many very interesting things have happened to me. See, I had to come to Ottawa this week to check on 4 possible apartments for the school year. Well, let me tell you, it’s NOT as easy as it seems. 

So we left Sudbury promptly at 9:30AM. I had to make an emergency stop at Starbucks, and then we were on our way. The way down to Ottawa was pretty much uneventful... Stopped in Sturgeon Falls (Cheddar cheese bagels!) and Deep River intentionally, then I had a sudden bladder pressure augmentation and stopped in this quaint little village called Renfrew (yes, much like Holt Renfrew, but MUCH less glamorous). Talk about a fucking adventure. You go down this road that looks as if it’s been taken directly from Farmville (complete with weird little people with extremely disproportionate heads and all) . Well talk about trying to get out of this town... it’s as if they’re trying to keep you there. And then the GPS is lying and says I’m supposed to go through this corn field, but actually makes you end up going on this weird little crescent shaped road to bring you back onto the road you turned off of... ( more of my retarded GPS later on...)

When we make it into Deep River, Brianne decided to blast Cotton-Eyed Joe in the car with the windows down at the gas station... yay me. So then we continued our trek to Ottawa, and because of the absurd amounts of useless construction, Brianne got to wave at like 2479365274365783495170423 construction workers... about 2 of them waved back... probably bcz they felt bad for her mental handicap. Either way, I think we were like, an hour later all due to construction. Then we get onto the Queensway (417)...Holy bitch suck. Talk about crazy people in crazy cars going really fast and making retarded lane changes while your GPS is yelling “STAY RIGHT...in 200 metres, STAY RIGHT!” and then you’re like “FUCK YOU computer GPS lady! anymore right, I’m going left!” all while worrying about the 6746578324658734627834608243670189576452376592345 cars flying around you.

Ok, so maybe the 417 wasn’t all that bad after all... it was pretty easy now that i think of it. 

THEN we got to downtown Ottawa... at 5PM or so... the GPS giudes us to the hotel in good fashion until it’s starts having epileptic seizures and says: “In 200 metres, turn left, then turn left, turn left” so I say: “Umm...okay! let’s go straight!” GPS says, in turn: “recalculating...turn right, then in 1 kilometer, turn right” so I followed her directions and I missed the hotel completely because the British bitch inside my GPS hates me. So we go around in a circle again and end up at the hotel... well then I don’t know where to park and I suddenly spot a place... but we already passed it...and we’re on a one-way street. CIRCLE THE FUCKING BLOCK AGAIN! I swear... this whole time, I think the angry lady in the GPS wanted to say: “Listen here you little shit! If I have to recalculate one more time, I’m going to eat your first-born”. OH! side story. Brianne and I are arriving downtown and I say: “look! the people in Downtown Ottawa are so different than the people in Downtown Sudbury! they look so normal.... OH! except that guy...” (a homeless looking guy riding an old-person’s scooter thing).  

SO I finally made it to the hotel...GPS still intact... British lady still shouting directions at me. And then I have to park my car... well here’s the deal... the parking is like, WAAAYYY underground. It’s like a fucking obstacle course getting down this tiny ramp and finding your way to your designated parking spot. The prize at the end: Congratulations, your car is still in good condition! 

So we go and see the first house, problem free. It was very nice... but I’m not writing about that. Then we decided were hungry and were going to eat somewhere. the nearest places are near this one mall (crappy mall) and we’re driving around in circles around the mall because every 2 seconds, the GPS says “Arriving at destination on right” and there was NEVER a restaurant in sight. I swear it was angry british lady trying to get back at me for the hotel dilemma. Finally I see the restaurant and it’s like, 800 meters east of where we were... FUCK YOU ANGRY BRITISH GPS LADY! FUCK YOU!

Then we went to the second house, wasn’t all that great. And got back to the hotel safely, parking was much easier the second time around... Still not what i would consider “EASY” though... 

I’ll tell you guys all about tomorrow another time though.

HAPPY GROPING!