Fashion advice from a harsh critic.

Hey blog buddies!

So I’ve been having a bit of difficulty thinking of appropriate things to rant/rip/rave about recently. I’d like to remind you all should you think of a really good blog topic for me, feel free to leave it on my Facebook wall or as a comment below. Or send me a text..or whatever, just make sure I know about it.

Now... as for today’s blog, fear not! Because I have thought of something to write to you about. And it is one of my all-time favorite things to talk about: FASHION. Now, for all the guys who read my blog, don’t start groaning just yet. There will be things in this blog that you will thank me for! (this goes for some girls too)

I think I’ll talk mostly about fashion faux-pas, because they are much more fun to talk about.

Now, if there’s ONE thing that bugs me more than anything else when I’m judging someone’s fashion choice, it’s their socks, or lack thereof. First of all, your socks should match your outfit or at least your shoes! Seriously! You can’t just go around in a tux with white gym socks! You might as well wear a big-ass sign saying “I don’t know how to dress myself, please hit me” Then again, don’t take this too literally and buy a pair of socks for every outfit you buy either.... Sometimes it’s creepy when you’re wearing an argyle sweater with matching argyle socks. I had a teacher who was wearing a pink argyle sweater once...her socks were black with pink argyle too. It was kinda creepy. All I’m saying is put a little thought into what goes on your feet, you never know when... (Ok, I’m trying really hard to think of something clever to say right here, but nothing’s coming... so “Insert clever Skyler comment here”). OH! and never wear socks with crocs. Actually, never wear crocs.

Another thing that people shouldn’t wear is a turtle neck. Just the name makes me think of dirty things..which is probably my own perverted mind’s fault... but whatever... they’re still really crappy. And don’t tell me “They’re practical...” because they are soooo not. First of all, they are soo uncomfortable. I’m sorry, but I don’t appreciate a tight piece of fabric wrapped around my neck giving me the illusion of a giraffe neck. The whole idea of a turtle neck is soooo unsettling. What would happen if my neck suddenly swelled? I could just see the newspaper headline now: “Man dies, due to swelling while in turtle neck” (OH MY GOD! the sexual innuendoes! I can’t even handle it!). So next time you reach for that “wanna-be-a-fucking-giraffe-neck-thing-because-my-mom-dresses-me-like-a-nun” garment, think again.

Another little note concerning this blog, if anyone saw my facebook status today, Horizontal stripes DO make you look fat. So don’t wear them, unless you’re Paris Hilton, in which case it’s okay to wear horizontal stripes because they give your body a bit of form.

Happy Groping!