ok. so a few months ago I started a blog called “tacky things” . . . I think it was in April if I’m not mistaken... Anyway, I figured I would finally write the “Part 2” I promised a long time ago.
- Hawain shirts.
I don’t know who the fuck you think you’re fooling when you wear these pieces of shit. I mean honestly, do you really think it’s necessary to wear a gross-ass piece of obscene floral pattern around where everyone can see you? You might as well just go nude. And you ever notice how the guys who wear these are like, beyond ugly? You walk around anywhere when it’s hot outside and there’s no way you’re going to avoid the lard-ass wearing this article of “clothing” reserved for the people who should also be wearing a sign saying “Punch me in the fucking face because I don’t know how to dress and my stupid bitch-ass wife thought it would be clever to dress me in this distracting and abominable cheap polyester garment.”
- Plastic Flamingos
“Look at me! I’m a foolish pink bird who adds absolutely NOTHING to your yard and who looks like the representative from ‘absolute flaming homosexuals are us’” (that’s what the bird says when you walk by). Seriously though, what is the reason for these stupid plastic, pink chickens polluting the trashiest of white trash yards? There is NO esthetic or economic value to these inanimate assholes. They are sooooo unrealistic...I mean.. really. There are sooo many other and better plastic things I would rather display on my front yard such as: plastic christmas trees (they don’t drop needles!!!), plastic dogs ( I mean, they just seem so much more realistic than tropical birds...) and so on and so forth.
- Spinning rims.
Or whatever the real name for them is. You know what I’m talking about. Those really pretentious and obnoxious things people put on their wheel rims to make it seem like their car is “pimped out” when really it’s just another cheap ass car that someone thinks is just “the shit” because there’s a shiny piece of metal (most of them are plastic now...which is so much worse) that spins in the air... I was like that once, except is was a playing card in the spokes of my bike tires. There’s a big difference there... When I was 8 and put that card in my spokes, I didn’t have child support to pay because I was a genuine fuck-up, crack whore; I was being a kid. Grow the fuck up, get a real car (like a Mazda 3 perhaps? hahaha..anyone who knows me personally will understand this) and stop letting your kid starve, asshole.
Well anyway, I’m sure there will be a third installment to this series, but that’s all for tonight. I have to work at 9 tomorrow. YAY me!....
Happy Groping!
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