Hey blog buddies!
I would like to start off by thanking the anonymous person who suggested today's topic!!! I can't believe I hadn't thought of it earlier! Either way, thank you anonymous. (Side note: I'm gonna name my kid Anonymous..... How awesome would that be???) (side note #2: "Tic-Tok on the clock" <---no shit Ke$ha! who knew that's the sound a clock makes!!!) Relationships.... Oh relationships...i have a feeling that you guys know exactly where I'm going with this... It probably won't be pretty.... For those in the "perfect" relationship; wake the fuck up and read this.
First of all, nobody's perfect. So whoever is saving themselves for Mr or Ms right; give it up and get laid already, who are you fooling? We all know you probably choke your chicken or tickle you turkey 5 times a day anyway.... Just saying.
And you know what's worse than all of that? PD-fucking-A's (public display of affection) There's nothing worse than going out somewhere with friends and seeing a young couple (or old...whatever works) sucking face! Like, mother fucker. Seriously, if we wanted to see that shit, we'd stay at home and download porn! Nobody wants to see you tongue jammed half-way down your girlfriend's/boyfriend's throat... very distasteful... You know what would be really funny and totally worth seeing? If someone choked on the tongue invading their throat... I think that would be funny. I would laugh at them. Probably point and laugh...
Anyway, back on topic, another thing that bugs the shit out of me is when people go out for 3 hours and then they're saying "I love you" you do not! You're just happy cuz you got laid! That's not love, that's sex... There's a difference (sometimes...not always....hahaha) And really, I don't think you're in love with this guy/girl, but more the idea of this guy/girl in your bed, with you, naked. Then he'll/She'll break your heart, you'll cry your little heart out for a week because you were just "soooo fucking in love with him", you'll eat a few tubs of ice cream, cry because you're getting fat, watch sappy love stories and cry again... Notice a pattern? yep...STOP THE CRYING! you look dumb, pitiful and mascara is leaking...
AND finally (I'll make this brief...Glee is on in 20 minutes...), I have one thing to say to those (and I'm referring to the girls here...if guys say this, it's pretty creepy) who always call their friends "baby". It's annoying, soo dumb, totally fake and kinda makes me (and I'm sure countless others) want to punch you in the face. And it would probably be a punch-that-stupid-bitch-in-the-face kind of punch... just saying...
Anyway, I made you all a little representative sketch for today's blog.
Happy Groping!
And you know what's worse than all of that? PD-fucking-A's (public display of affection) There's nothing worse than going out somewhere with friends and seeing a young couple (or old...whatever works) sucking face! Like, mother fucker. Seriously, if we wanted to see that shit, we'd stay at home and download porn! Nobody wants to see you tongue jammed half-way down your girlfriend's/boyfriend's throat... very distasteful... You know what would be really funny and totally worth seeing? If someone choked on the tongue invading their throat... I think that would be funny. I would laugh at them. Probably point and laugh...
Anyway, back on topic, another thing that bugs the shit out of me is when people go out for 3 hours and then they're saying "I love you" you do not! You're just happy cuz you got laid! That's not love, that's sex... There's a difference (sometimes...not always....hahaha) And really, I don't think you're in love with this guy/girl, but more the idea of this guy/girl in your bed, with you, naked. Then he'll/She'll break your heart, you'll cry your little heart out for a week because you were just "soooo fucking in love with him", you'll eat a few tubs of ice cream, cry because you're getting fat, watch sappy love stories and cry again... Notice a pattern? yep...STOP THE CRYING! you look dumb, pitiful and mascara is leaking...
AND finally (I'll make this brief...Glee is on in 20 minutes...), I have one thing to say to those (and I'm referring to the girls here...if guys say this, it's pretty creepy) who always call their friends "baby". It's annoying, soo dumb, totally fake and kinda makes me (and I'm sure countless others) want to punch you in the face. And it would probably be a punch-that-stupid-bitch-in-the-face kind of punch... just saying...
Anyway, I made you all a little representative sketch for today's blog.
Happy Groping!
Skyler, this was AWESOME! made me laugh so much! Everything is so true, F relationships :) Your so funny....KEEP BLOGING! cuz its halarious.
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